"Imagine if you will, a world where...",40 years have passed, it all began May 19, 1986, the reflex wasn't all that mattered, we wore our sun glasses at night, we were walking on sunshine, we were smalltown boys & he turned me right round baby right round like a record baby...The place is here, the time is now, and the journey into the shadows that we're about to take could be our journey and it is.
Don has spent much of his life trying to save the world, while it's been more my role to make sure through, show & tell, all the reasons it's worth saving.
Don & I have been together since 1986, that's a 40 years reality. When we were able to legally have a union ceremony, we did. When we were able to become married, we did. I had rings made for the occasion, from a place in Maryland called Ancient Ivories. They're made of silver & fossil ivory with a blue whale scrimshawed on them. We wanted something organic, natural & of the earth, like us. It's a beautiful thing...love. While I’m a sentimental kind a guy, don’t misunderstand me, life & relationship's take commitment, compromise, discipline, & a mutual unwavering understanding too. Don’s father had just passed when we met, I was still grappling with my brothers death many years earlier, each of our childhood pups passed on, months after we met and about 7-8 years after we were together, both our mothers passed on, within a year of each other, as well. It’s these real life happenings and our shared world view that have bound us together. We recently went to a concert at the All-State Arena and discovered quite be accident that, while we knew it had been renamed years ago and closed during covid, HUNTER’S the gay bar we met at, had now been bull-dozed, as well as The Chalet motel next to it demolished. So here’s a bit of our history before it too disappears. We started as the odd couple & are the grumpy old men, become grumpier at this point, but each others, "C'est la vie".
Don & I met, a week or two after I had just spent the late winter/early spring of 1986, living in a little red Chevette, pawning all my stuff & living on catsup and crackers, on the streets and beaches of California, Laguna Beach, Huntington Beach (where my oldest female-friend in the world and first kiss, lived at the time), LA. etc. with a guy I had a thing for, who wanted to be a rock star....hahaha. In which I had on 1 occasion, got to sing-out, a Bowie tune 'Suffragette City' , at one of the auditions, Ha... but for reals and not half bad, I was told. I had left a 2nd wife, with whom the 3 of us, 2nd, rock-star &myself, spent ample time together, in part, clubbing, after a week's marriage, at the courthouse, having had my sister and H.S. gay-boy-friend witness, of whom, he & I would double date with girls, in H.S., drop off the girls and have our own date me, hoping one of them would save me from the marriage mistake, now twice made, but alas I was me being me, then left her, to run a way with him...this all, about 9 months after divorcing my 1st wife, high school sweetheart, afterward finding myself pursuing a relationship with a H.S. art class mate crush, having resulted in a same time next month affair to remember, with him, each of the wives, who knew I was, air quotes, "Bi"...Having successfully returned home, for reasons, which should be obvious, as rock stardom did not work out for either of us. So, I went to a local queer club, here in the burbs of Chicago, aptly named HUNTER"S. I wasn't drinking or partying, on this occasion, when this guy in a Hawaiian shirt, hands in his pocket, shoulders up ,looking bright eyed, but shy, (ha, ha, ha) approaches me and offers to buy me a drink. The sweetest, nicest guy in the world...so we danced, we chatted, and after learning he was going back to college to complete a masters program, I remember thinking, 'well he seems stable and goal orientated, not like the regular guys I tend to gravitate towards', so we exchanged # , mine on the back of a wallet sized photo of me, ha, yes, I was, yeah, that guy...oh noooo! After seeing him at the club another time, weeks later...and correcting the #, he called a week or so after and asked me on a date??? A real date, to some LGBTQ & the '"Q" was for queer, back in the day, at the time & that's me...queer, films playing in Chicago. It was the eve of my 22nd B-day, although he didn't know that at the time & we saw 'My Beautiful Launderette & Dessert Hearts' Afterwards, walking back to the car, he noticed I was shivering cold, as it was late spring & I was without a jacket. Saying nothing, he took off his, put on my shoulders, & I distinctly remember thinking....'He's A Keeper', a thought, a decision, to which I credit, for quite possible saving my life, that was just over 40 years ago. Now, I don't know if that's success, but it is the life I chose and the rest is history, some forthcoming & TBA.
A question posed was “if you could relive a moment of your life, which would it be?” The summer of 1989, Don and I were living with my parents, mom was ill, and we had moved back to help out. It was a blustering hot humid summer day. Don & I were napping in the middle of the afternoon. Somewhere between the state of being awake and sleep, I could hear this piece on the radio softly playing. It turned out to be Phillip Glass’s “Opening & Closing”. Never in my life had I ever felt so alive and connected to the universe. I wanted to just stay in that moment forever, as we, everything. were one. Transcending time & space in a moment, nothing was separate, everything was one. Its difficult to put into words, but I had never felt so much peace, some much love, some much light. It was surreal and yet definitive and complete. Inspired by a memory of that life changing event, when I realized, I was forever and that we were one.
Over the past 40 years we’ve had lots of adventures, ups & downs, challenges & aspirations, our home has always been full of lots of critters & plants. Our cats in chronology were Ziggy, Sammy & Gizmo, 2 tortoises Emmie for Emerson & T for Thoreau, he’s still with us, 3 hermit crabs Bela, Frank & Cristopher, Bela’s still here, An Australian Rosie Bourke named Billy-Budd, that turned out to be a female, lol, dozens of society finches & our families of Shiba Inu’s, 1st family Kai-Guy, Sunny, Snowy & Kodi, and now Blaze & Amber. Here’s a few photos of our journey together. I wanted to paint something to commemorate the occasion. Like I had over a decade ago, for our 25th, with our previous critters that I used as the primary image for the novel I wrote, “Libertalia: Remember We All Must Die” I decided to make it more nowish though or at least the most recent part of our life over the past 13+ years with Blaze & Amber, this time. So while it was Blaze’s 2nd road-trip, it was our first one with the both of them. It was to Ptown on Cape Cod and referenced from a photo selfie I took that everyone seems to love of us. I had determined to make it one of my contemporary figurative graffiti abstractions. The background has, as many of our adventures penciled in, local, near & far, written in. An infinity sign and 18k gold leaf added as always, my signature trade mark.
Still putting marks here & there on the portrait, but thank you for sharing this milestone moment with us and remember your thoughts & questions are always welcome,
Thanks, peace, love & light, Richard
