It’s been an amazing year, that I’m so grateful for. All challenges & opportunities accepted, and their gifts, given & received.
As a young boy growing up, my family life was filled with enormous amounts of relentless traumatic events, life turmoil & angst, as well as a profound sense of love, unspoken. I’ve been creating art since then, age 6 being my earliest memory of such doings, although the sporadic & constant struggles that loomed upon my family often just shut me down, mentally, emotionally & physically, as a child & teen, hence my art would suffer & halt, just stop, as well….me unaware that it was leaving me in a more desperate, maudlin & melancholiac state. A roller coaster of emotion, joy, bliss, profound sadness & panic…a more recent diagnosis of ptsd, has shed light on some of my triggers. I developed a wicked sense of humor to manage, laughter & comedy are the best, but, I’ve often found peace & solace in music, I still do. Trying to power through the events of the day, the week, month and passing years, I’d sing and personalize the lyrics…I suppose many of us did. As a preteen this tune was played & a torch song by me often, over & over again on a 45 vinyl I had/have…Rose Garden
Song by Lynn Anderson
Lyrics
“I beg your pardon
I never promised you a rose garden
Along with the sunshine
There's gotta be a little rain sometime
When you take you gotta give so live and let live or let go
Oh-whoa-whoa-whoa
I beg your pardon
I never promised you a rose garden”
As time went on, I matured & learned to play in the rain, literally splashing in the puddles, too fun & I still like walking in the rain, it feels like a cleansing of sorts. As an older adult, I power through the difficult times, as art is my life’s mission, my therapy & besides, now I see the color even on the most grey of days & it’s amazing!
I try to live by a simple creed or motto, ‘Just do it’, when you can do it, meaning Carpe Diem,…life waits for no one, so seize the moments of your life, a bucket list, both doable & challenging. With that sentiment this years has been full, almost too full, not perfect, but imperfectly perfect or perfectly imperfect, as life is a an action word of change & happenings.
I’m a planner, so I try to have always have a plan, a direction in which I’m moving. This year came on with a bang, more than a whimper, as I added a ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’ car model with the gang in it, to my meditation shelves & space. A favorite film as a child that still holds some feel good sentimental attachments. With that, 2022 was on and it was going to be a happening as the third year of the covid pandemic began. I had, had it, covid that is, & me being vaccinated & boosted as well, so it was catch up time for us. Don, myself & the pups, Blaze & Amber, were ready to romp & boo boo.
I had completed the first painting of the year, entitled ‘Blue Veil’ an 18”x18” in oil, in mostly blues, with a male dancer in it. It was inspired by a Russian dancer friend of mine who’s in the Bolshoi Ballet. I always have a daily inspiration & poetry book to read. This year was A Year With Rumi & Jim Caroll’s Fear of Dreaming. I also had some of my book reads lined up, the DUNE trilogy & Yuval Noah Harari’s trilogy on the history of humankind, past, present & future, profound & on the nose, my thoughts as well.
The past year had brought on more health & age related issues. Yep, at 57, 58, I’m all 7’s & 8’s you might say. Besides having three vision prescriptions, beginning in my 40’s. I’ve been relatively healthy but for a broken foot as a kid, a couple eye injuries when I was in my 20’s, a small hernia repair and a bought of planters fasciitis, brought on by the abuses of a day job, & that I’ve been dealing with since it got triggered 8-10 years ago. Towards the end of last year I discovered that I had several herniated discs and pinched nerves in my neck, my left arm, my painting arm was going numb as I continued to paint, so it’s been lots of physical therapy, both assisted & at home. Then having went in for a pre cancer screening, as I’m an ex smoker low these past 14 years, I discovered instead some plaque and a bit of atherosclerotic heart build up & aortic distension that has me on a statin to combat. So yes I’m discovering that aging isn’t for the faint of heart…so we make adjustments and move forward, as always. Sciatica, Sciatica, I bellow out…
I had made reservations a year in advance to check one of those bucket list items off, by going snorkeling. So we did, 3rd week of January we headed for a frequented haunt of St Augustine Florida, then on to Key West (the pups, who love to travel, were on board the boat as we snorkeled, an amazing thrill), back to Flagler Beach where we stayed at the Whale Watch motel. A little place we’d passed by, over many years, that had intrigued me as it, sits overlooking the Atlantic in an area where the whales pass by. We had just missed a few, by all accounts by other watchers. On our way home we stopped in Georgia, just north of Atlanta where my only living sibling, my sister and her adult daughters, my nieces had relocated too, over the covid years, past, some I hadn’t had the chance to say by to or wish them well…so it was important to me and it was a great trip & we were off to a fantastic start to the year.
Then, back home we crossed paths with a couple of coyotes. I’ve seen them from a distance over these many years, but this time we were close, I tried to make noise to shoo them away, instead one seemed to be flanking us the other blocked the path before walking towards us. We hightailed it out there. Mid fall we crossed paths again at dusk, it was to close for comfort. Our timing is synced and we’re on a similar path, this time they seemed to be hunting us…I’m concerned and trying to stay out of their territory. Shortly after returning, we met up with my twin cousins about 2 hours west of us for brunch, as dad had wanted to show me a stone Native American sculpture on on the river were he had spent a great deal of time hunting when he was a young parent and also, where he wants his ashes spread after his passing. I started playing around with creating B&W photo cameos just before the Russian/Ukraine war took hold. The gallery I’m at, held a fundraiser for the Children of Ukraine effected by the war. 15 or so artists donated artworks for the UNICEF children’s campaign, it was a success I donated 2 pieces, 1 sold, a large sunflower with a map of the Ukraine. We saw long time comedic icon, Carol Burnett, perform at the Chicago Theater, a bucket list dream come true & after waiting 2 covid years, the UK musical phenomenon Jacob Collier performed at the Riviera Theater, Chicago. He’s a massive talent to watch,
My husband Don turned 60 this year so we met up with his family for a dinner party at a local pub and later that month went to the Arcada Theater, here in St. Charles Il. to see the Musical Box, tribute band perform The Lamb Lays Down , endorsed by the band Genesis. Don & I continue to work through a multitude of issues. You’d think after 36 years things would be a lot easier & more smooth & comfortable, but theses days it seem that neither of us are getting what we want from each other & we bicker & argue a lot, like grumpy old men. I yearn for the fun, calm & comfort of our norm or resolution. We got covid and I was out of work, unpaid, yet again. Three days of flu like symptoms, nothing too bad, but I don’t usually get ill…so there’s that . A week or so later we met up with Don’s youngest sister’s family, for dinner before heading to another concert…Garbage opening for a longtime favorite of mine, Tears For Fears…they were both awesome cool.
Politics, religion & covid have caused some insurmountable problems with some family members & friends…It seems there’s confusion about personal choice & imposing ones will on others, even at the cost of their health, well being, safety, security & life. Where as mine is put in jeopardy, dismissed & forgotten about and the idea of being empathetic of other’s thoughts & ideas, that are unlike theirs, is unknown, and an alien concept, muchless the idea of taking responsibility for the nations, or the worlds peoples. As sanctioned & brought to you by their opposing views, ala me, me, & more me, it seems most, at least 1/2 are unable to work well & play well with others. Something they should have learned in grade school. I worry about the country, as well as world affairs, as do many, now, too. So let’s say collectively it’s about WE, not me.
Always painting & reading daily, weekly..as it feeds me. I’ve started a yoga & meditation discipline, it’ll take time to make it a more daily practice. So happy to have given up coffee about 10 years ago, in favor of tea I love Adagio tea, Yunnan Noir, black dragon pearls, Masala Chia & Oriental Spice are good too, my herbals Fox Trot and Blood Orange are superior ..they’re out of New Jersey but we have a local shop near me too. By summer, we planned to take a long weekend up in Michigan staying at a cabin with the pups at a LGBTQ resort, ‘Camp-It’…always so fun & chill. On route we had decided to go to the PRIDE parade here in Chicago, this year, more than most, it seemed so important to make our stand, our voices heard, & we hadn’t went to one in many, many moons besides. WE, the pups and a million or so others had united in love & support, for the day…oh what a feeling, a real thrill, a good decision. Art Institute of Chicago opened a Cezanne exhibit, the first in 70 years, as a fan we attended & I was inspired. Later that month we made it to the 50th anniversary of the musical performance of Jesus Christ Superstar, at the Cadillac Palace, Chicago. I’m a longtime fan of the music, play, & words of Jesus, as well as the other & many inspired sages of the world, as I consider myself a Unitarian Universalist. It was fantasmagorical…another thrill & bucket list event, checked off.
Olivia Newton-John passed on after a 30 year battle with cancer. It effected me deeply, it seems strange with all the more personal losses of friends & family over the years that a celebrity passing would touch me so. She was a most beautiful human being, the most. My dad has continued to struggle health wise , mentally & physically over the past several years. With our relationship having always been at odds with each other and so strained, its been difficult and more than I can successfully manage emotionally. With my sister & my nieces having recently moved out of state, my feelings of isolation & aloneness, have been overwhelming, it all leaves me feeling abandoned, the orphan. With Fathers Day just around the corner we planned and took dad to brunch & on a riverboat ride cruise, along the Fox River…he seemed to really enjoy it and I’m glad, as he seems to enjoy very little of life, these days. My nieces have come to state several times too, but for one reason or the other we haven’t been able to meet up, it saddens me greatly.
The indie folk rock band The Decemberists, were back at The Chicago Theater too, a great concert, but they didn’t play ‘The Mariners Revenge Song’ there or at any of the venues they had played for this month long tour…a favorite, I wonder why. They have been my favorite band over the past decade, indie folk rock rules. My creative output & painting has been sporadic this year as sales have been down, as has been the economy most of the year. But not to worry, inflation has been insane, every bill and personal cost has went up 20-40%, just not my day job income, ever here. The gallery & frame shop, in which is my bread & butter, is not without it’s inordinate obstacles, complications & challenges, low these near 7 years, but not to be dwelled on. We took the pups hiking at Starved Rock State Park, a regular visit for us, that’s always a treat, nature & all. Those pups, Blaze & Amber, are my joy & bliss. My sister was in town for family-in-law stuff and we were able to meet for lunch at Gia Mia’s, in St Charles, so nice, it was a beautiful day, a moment to cherish, I captured a selfie of us two, too.
September brought the release of the documentary ‘Moonage Daydream’ , a David Bowie life montage…simply brilliant, unlike anything you’ve ever seen before of the genre. I’m a bit of a film addict, there where lots of new good features…a few being, The wwi film, All Quiet on the Western Front, the documentary, Andy Warhol Diaries, an older Dutch LGBTQ film BOYS, The Northman, Banshee’s of Inisherin, & the horror films, X & NOPE. I have high hopes for Spielberg’s The Fabelman too. We went to the Pet Shop Boys/ New Order concert it the Huntington Pavilion on Lake Michigan in Chicago and danced the night away, a rude and abrupt reminder of my age, muscles and bones ached for days afterward as they hadn’t moved that way in a long while, lol…its all good though, as they are to 2 bands I’ve adored a lifetime & well worth it. This was the night before we headed out to our annual road trip to Ptown. We kept enroute and the scenics to a minimum this year, as I needed to chill & we did. We did all our favorite things, we love to do while we were there…plus, we became foodies for the week, walked the breakwater & saw the whales, yet again, pups on board with us & always a beautiful thing, a mystic & ethereal thrill.
My artwork seems to have taken a surprise and welcome turn this year, even more loose then my normal loose, organic and flowing out of me in an honest, sincere, & meaningful way. Looking back, it feels like a good painting year & several stand out as especially successful to me, a commissioned piece Evening Glow, (it was likened to Turner)…plus, The Visible, Bohemia, The Majestic, Misty Meadow, Essence, T.N. 2022…the Rainy Day in Chicago piece I posted here & the large abstract triptych, Go Away White, that I’m currently working on. While I’m content to paint, & feel I’m on the verge of significant commercial breakthrough, I do wonder time to time if so, when? Still, I have discovered I’m a bit of a influencer, unacknowledged as it may be, true never the less & a compliment of sorts too. I’m an avid reader and there’s been several worth mentioning & remembering, The Shores of Bohemia, The Children of Ash & Elm, At Swim Two Boys, Van Gogh and the Artist He Loved, Dream Boy & On Tyranny…I haven’t got to the Cezanne exhibition book yet, but I’m sure I will, by years end. An exhibition opened at Wrightwood 659 in Chicago. The First Homosexuals: Global Depictions of a New Identity, 1869-1930, part 1 of a 2 part exhibition, it was so important for us to attend & beyond outstanding…I’m so glad we were able to make it and look forward to part 2 in 2025, plus I await its exhibition book too.
After Bowie endorsed the band Arcade Fire I became a huge fan so we went to see them at the United Center…another bucket list item, checked off. They began playing as we found out the democrats had won Nevada in the midterms & that American Democracy , its system of checks & balances had prevailed, once again, for now. An awesome night. WE Celebrated!! Several days later we went to help usher in, the next wave of cool, you all remember cool, right? Long live glitter rock n’ roll with the glam, goth, theater rock stylings of a band out of Italy, MANESKIN (moonshine)…I went in leather, lace, velvet, a black feather boa, a pink glitter heart on my left cheek, a brass safety pin dangling from my hoop earing and the appropriate amount of lip & eye liner, with Don on my arm, to the Aragon Ballroom, Chicago… Iggy Pop had done vocals on one of their tunes, a rerelease of I Wanna Be Your Slave…that spoke volumes to me & it was good to be ‘loud kids’ again, for the night. I see great things in their future, like rising stars shooting across the sky, just watch them go, in awe & wonderment. Don said, “probably the best band we’ve seen.”
This Thanksgiving, will be another quiet day with Don, myself & dad and we’ll do Christmas Eve, with him as well, at a longtime family haunt, The Golden Pheasant, if life allows & so it is, another year passes. I’ll play Olivia N-J & Sufjan Stevens 5 disc holiday albums from the end of November through the New Year. I sometimes wish so many things hadn’t changed, but then that is life, lest we forget, an ever changing scape, where we make decisions & choices as the world turns & time, like sands in a hour glass, passes us by. And I think, yes, we are here for but a moment & I’m grateful for each & everyone of them.
I love Chicago & the Land of Lincoln, I grew up a fifteen minute drive from downtown Chicago & we visited it often for events, as such & the like…I still do regularly, even though we’ve moved, a bit further west, out into the burbs & country, for all the benefits they afford. The cultural diverseness and the arts have always beckoned me there, to the city, my 2nd home. This piece came together as more of a statement, ‘Along with the sunshine, There's gotta be a little rain sometime.’ Our lives are mostly at bay, a distanced view, a perspective, an attitude & choices, so grateful to be here for all of it & time marches on. BTW my pronoun is the obscure Thone, meaning that one or the one & I Am, that is I identify as Queer af. So then, I had this articulated thought & moment of clarity…WE, ALL LIFE, ARE ORGANIC ALGORITHMS RECOGNIZING MATHEMATICAL PATTERNS OF FRACTALS x CHAOS, MADE OF THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MATTER & ENERGY OF SYNCHRONICITY IN THE COLLECTIVE UNCONSCIOUSNESS OF THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM...stardust, be it named, the Universe, Absolute Reality or God.
I never thought I’d be able to do any of it, until I started thinking, ‘Just Do it.’
Dear Diary,
Peace, Love & Light,
With Grace & Gratitude,
Sincerely Richard
‘Rainy Day Chicago’ 24”x30” oil
